Can't Get to Heaven in Your Sunday Best

Luther called Rory’s cell phone, found out he was still at Ireena’s, took a taxi to her apartment, and then rang her buzzer.
“Who is it?” she said.
“It’s Lu.”
The door buzzed and he entered. He knocked on Ireena’s door and she let him in. She wore a headband, an UnderArmor stretch t-shirt, and black nylon pants. Rory came to the door next, wearing a pair of boxers and his now ragged homemade N.O.U. t-shirt.
“I’m dying,” he said to both of them, “I have spinal meningitis.”
“Yeah right,” Ireena said.
“I have AIDS. Marcus gave it to me when we went into Lauren’s bathroom together,” Rory said.
Luther became frustrated by their doubt.
“I’m telling you, this is the truth. I’ve never felt this pain before. It’s very foreign. But I’m not going to the hospital. I want to spend my last day on Earth in the company of friends.”
Ireena walked over to her television set and put in Billy Blank’s Tae-Bo workout tape.
“I want to go spend like $500 on a designer outfit for today,” Luther told Rory, “Will you go with me to Akira?”
Rory looked at Ireena. “Do you care if I go?”
“Do I look like I care?” she said, stretching her back to the left and then to the right.
Billy Blanks clasped his hands together and smiled at Ireena and told her she was about to get into the best shape of her life.
Luther and Rory exited the apartment, turned right on Schiller, turned left on Damen, and turned right down North. After about a five minute walk, they arrived at Akira for Men.
“Is there anything I can help you find?” the very hip employee asked.
“What’s your most expensive item?” Luther asked.
“Coats. Suit Pants. You’ll find them on the back wall on the right,” the very hip employee answered.
Luther started rifling through the clothes on the rack there. He looked across from them and saw the selection of jeans. He saw a brand called “Rockstar.” He looked at the price. $250.00 He found his waist size – 34 – and asked the very hip employee if he could try them on in the fitting room.
While Luther changed, Rory began to wonder if he could afford anything in the store.
“That 40% sale—are those the biggest sale items in the store?”
“Yeah, just those button down shirts.”
“Cool. I liked some of those LaCoste Oxfords. I might get one of those.”
“Yeah those are 20% off, it’s a good deal.”
“Hey, where did you get those frames?”
The very hip employee wore medium thickness light red plastic frames with almost clear arms. What the hell is the word for that? I wish I worked in a glasses store.
“They’re Ray-Bans.”
“Oh that’s cool. They make good frames. I’m going to get a new pair soon.” Rory informed him.
Luther came out of the fitting room and said, “Perfect fit, now for a shirt,” and began looking.
He found an Oxford to his liking that cost $100.00 and then topped it off with a suit coat, which was $300.00. He had managed to spend even more than his hyperbole had voiced back at Ireena’s apartment. Luther made his purchase and they made their exit, the very hip employee smiling at Rory as walked out, because he had said, “Thank you!” and smiled at him himself.
What a happy world we live in!