Running Partners

Luther was trailing a man of forty-seven through the footpaths of the park. They were traveling at approximately 4.7 miles per hour. Luther was on the home stretch. He wondered about this man in front of him. Why was he running? What did he do in the course of his days? Was he rich, poor, kind, abusive? What was he getting away from when he went running?
Charles was sprinting at approximately 12.4 miles per hour in the direction of Luther and his running partner. He was screaming, “You’re all gonna die when I die, you’re all gonna die when I die.” He saw Luther and he stopped and waited until he came alongside him. Then he started running with him.
“You, Luther, I know you, you’re Rory’s friend. You, you see, are destined to be put back in the ground. Me, I exist, not forever, but just about forever. Wow! I’ve got a lot of time left on my hands. Where are you running to? I think we’re all running in one way or another. I mean, I’m not running at all! Everyone’s running around me. They may not know it, but they really are! I mean, I may not be the biggest star in the universe, but I’m like the captain of the Milky Way, you know? I mean I am in some very good company here. You are a prime example of how good everything is. You see, I just amble along with you, and you become so happy, so jubilant, maybe you’re performing photosynthesis and you don’t even know it. But nobody wants to appreciate the Sun, because the Sun is too bright and the Sun wakes you up in the morning and puts an end to your beautiful sleep and the Sun gives you melanoma and the Sun makes you sweat and smell bad and the Sun causes car accidents and the Sun dries out vegetation and the Sun never ever goes away. Even when it seems like the Sun’s gone, it’s still there, and it comes back, over and over until you’re all dead and then it finally flickers out and the Earth is dark, icy, and dead forever.”
“What are you on, man?”
“Myself, myself, myself, myself and Magic Pills.”
“Is that code for something?”
“It’s code for little tablets that I took with water and make me feel like whatever I want to feel.”
“How much are they?”
“They’re not for sale! I’m the only one that’s allowed to take Magic Pills.”
“That’s being stingy.”
“Luther, you’re a good man, and not a very good runner. But no matter, I imbue you with my Sun powers. Why should anyone ever have to be anything less than amazed at who you are and just how powerful you can be?”
“Because they’re not on drugs.”
Charles said, “Kaplow!” and sprinted back off in the other direction again.