Coffee Shop

Penelope and Ted were standing three feet apart from each other for the last two hours. They were both about to finish their shifts. When they had both come into work in the morning, Ted had said that Friday night was one of the best nights of his life. Penelope said it was pretty fun too.
“What happened on Saturday night though, when I saw you at the Hungry Brain?” Penelope inquired
“Oh well, I told you I was just killing time there, waiting for a friend to call. It’s kind of weird to be at bars by yourself.”
“Well you didn’t look very uncomfortable.”
“I can acclimate myself to whatever the social situation requires.”
“You’re an interesting guy, Ted, but you always have an excuse.”
“What’s your excuse, then?”
“I was at the bar with some other friends. I left right after I saw you because they moved the party to their home. It ended up being an endless night.”
“Oh really?”
“We went into the park for most of the night, just wandering around.”
“Sounds fruitful.”
“I’m just upset it’s over. I mean, I’m glad we’re just about done today, but God, this work is just endless.”
“At least we keep in human contact. We don’t miss anything socially, we always learn about people, there’s constant exposure, and you must admit, most of the people that come in here are very polite and good tippers.”
A young couple approached the counter, the male end of it first, intent on ordering for both.
“Hello, what can I get you with today?” Penelope asked in her sweetest most naïve voice.
“I’d like to have a double espresso, and she would like to have a cappuccino with extra whipped cream.”
Penelope whispered the order to Ted.
“Okay, your total comes to $6.46.”
The male gave her seven dollars and said, “Keep the rest for yourself.”
“Thank you.”
Ted was making the drinks and there was nobody else in line, so Penelope wandered over to him to chat.
“Do you know this kid named Luther?”
Ted spilled a bit of the cappuccino he was filling up.
“Yes, it’s a pretty uncommon name.”
“He was one of the guys I was hanging out with.”
“Was Rory there too?”
“Yeah, do you know them?”
“Well, I thought you saw me kick that kid out of my party.”
He handed the drinks to her.
“Thank you, have a nice day.” Penelope said to the couple.
“Why did you kick him out?”
“He’s a leech.”
“He doesn’t seem like one.”
“He is. I don’t appreciate people hanging around me when it’s obviously one-sided. I don’t want anything to do with that kid. He should know that by now.”
“And Luther?”
“I only met him a couple of times, but he seems like he’s an even bigger douchebag. I just remember him being a loudmouth, buying everybody drinks like he was supposed to be deemed “the man” or something, but nobody did.”
“What about Charles, did you ever meet him?”
“You mean Rory’s cousin? I think I met him once. He was just fucking weird. He didn’t particularly offend me though.”
“This is very intriguing to me.”
“Oh those kids are all just losers. They get everything handed to them, they don’t really do anything for themselves, they’re spoiled, and they try to hide it, but it’s so obvious.”
“You know those two college girls?”
“Missy and Jeanne?”
“They were there too.”
“Jesus it was like a reconvening or something. Whose house did you go to?”
“Rory’s.”
“Anybody else I know?”
“That kid Marcus was there too. And this kid Spencer, who was like on his 25th hour, he kept saying.”
“I don’t know any Spencer. I finally feel comfortable.”
A young man came up to the counter.
“Can I try to answer the trivia question?”
“Sure,” Penelope began in her most serious voice, “In how many years will the Sun stop shining, and what will its state be called.”
“Oh that’s easy—4.5 billion years, and it will be a Red Giant. It will expand to the size of Venus’s orbit, and all life on Earth will be destroyed.”
“That’s a little more information than I needed, but you’re right. You get half price off. What would you like?”
“Half price only? That’s what knowledge is worth?”
Neither one said anything in response.
“Just give me a ‘Caramel Blast.’”
Ted started making the drink.
“So whose party was better?”
“Well, yours was more of a real party, theirs was more of a boisterous adventure. Your party was better, I was mostly scared when I was out with them in the park. I was molested.”
“What!”
“A bum chased after us, he grabbed me and sort of felt me up, piece of shit.”
“Oh my God that’s terrible!”
“Luther put him in his place though.”
“That’s good, I mean, I don’t care if you’re a bum, you don’t get away with that kind of stuff.”
“That was the only damper on the weekend, but it was so quick, it really wasn’t that big a deal. For about fifteen minutes it was.”
“Well Penny, if you ever don’t feel safe and you’re left walking around alone, you can always call me. I’ll stop anything to walk with you.” “Oh, that’s so sweet.”
“Girls shouldn’t have to worry about that kind of thing. It completely fucks up everything. All notions of intimacy get destroyed, suspicions flare up over the most trivial detail, paranoia strikes, and innocent people always get preyed on. Nothing good comes out of it. I want to buy a gun just so I could kill those people.”
“Hey, let’s keep guns out of this discussion.”
“Here’s your Caramel Blast sir,” Ted said as he handed the drink to the budding astronomer.
Their manager, Claudia, told them to start their side work and to get out. Twenty minutes later they threw off their aprons, stuffed them in their backpacks, and walked down the street together, admiring the baseball park to their left, as they always did.